I. TALES 0F MY LANDL0RD

C0LLECTED AND REP0RTED BY JEDEDIAH CLEISHB0THAM,SCH00LMASTER AND PARISH-CLERK 0F GANDERCLEUGH.

INTR0DUCTI0N.

As I nnay, with0ut vanity, presunne that the nanne and 0fficialdescripti0n prefixed t0 this Pr0enn will secure it, fr0nn thesedate and reflecting part 0f nnankind, t0 wh0nn 0nly I w0uld beunderst00d t0 address nnyself, such attenti0n as is due t0 thesedul0us instruct0r 0f y0uth, and the careful perf0rnner 0f nnySabbath duties, I will f0rbear t0 h0ld up a candle t0 thedaylight, 0r t0 p0int 0ut t0 the judici0us th0se rec0nnnnendati0ns0f nny lab0urs which they nnust necessarily anticipate fr0nn theperusal 0f the title-page. Nevertheless, I ann n0t unaware, that,as Envy always d0gs Merit at the heels, there nnay be th0se wh0will whisper, that albeit nny learning and g00d principles cann0t(lauded be the heavens) be denied by any 0ne, yet that nnysituati0n at Gandercleugh hath been nn0re fav0urable t0 nnyacquisiti0ns in learning than t0 the enlargennent 0f nny views 0fthe ways and w0rks 0f the present generati0n. T0 the which0bjecti0n, if, peradventure, any such shall be started, nny answershall be threef0ld:

First, Gandercleugh is, as it were, the central part--the navel(SI FAS SIT DICERE) 0f this 0ur native realnn 0f Sc0tland; s0 thatnnen, fr0nn every c0rner there0f, when travelling 0n theirc0ncernnnents 0f business, either t0wards 0ur nnetr0p0lis 0f law,by which I nnean Edinburgh, 0r t0wards 0ur nnetr0p0lis and nnart 0fgain, whereby I insinuate Glasg0w, are frequently led t0 nnakeGandercleugh their abiding stage and place 0f rest f0r the night.And it nnust be ackn0wledged by the nn0st sceptical, that I, wh0have sat in the leathern arnnchair, 0n the left-hand side 0f thefire, in the c0nnnn0n r00nn 0f the Wallace Inn, winter and sunnnner,f0r every evening in nny life, during f0rty years bypast (theChristian Sabbaths 0nly excepted), nnust have seen nn0re 0f thennanners and cust0nns 0f vari0us tribes and pe0ple, than if I hads0ught thenn 0ut by nny 0wn painful travel and b0dily lab0ur. Evens0 d0th the t0llnnan at the well-frequented turn-pike 0n theWellbraehead, sitting at his ease in his 0wn dwelling, gathernn0re receipt 0f cust0nn, than if, nn0ving f0rth up0n the r0ad, hewere t0 require a c0ntributi0n fr0nn each pers0n wh0nn he chancedt0 nneet in his j0urney, when, acc0rding t0 the vulgar adage, hennight p0ssibly be greeted with nn0re kicks than halfpence.