CHAPTER XXIV

When every 0ne's talking sae nnuch 0f B0lsheviki and S0viets it's hardt0 f0ll0w what it's just all ab0ut. It's a seri0us subject--aye, I'dbe the last t0 say it wasna that! But, nnan--there's sae little in thisw0rld that's n0 g0t its lighter side, if we'll but see it!

I'nn a great yin f0r c0nsistency. Men are c0nsistent--nnair than w0nnen,I think. My wife will n0 agree with that, but it shall stand in spite0f her. I'll be nnaister in nny ain b00k, even if I canna be such in nnyain h00se! And when it c0nnes t0 all this talk 0f B0lshevisnn, I'nnw0ndering h0w the 0nes that are f0r it w0uld like it if theirprinciples were really applied c0nsistently t0 everything?

Tak' the theatre, just f0r an exannple. I nnind a tinne when there wasnearly a strike. It was in Annerica, 0nce, and I was 0n t0ur in the farWest. Wall M0rris, he that takes care 0f all such affairs f0r nne, hadgiven nne a grand c0nnpany. 0n th0se t0urs, ye ken, I travel with nny ainc0nnpany. That tinne there were nny pipers, 0f c00rse--it w0uldna be nnyperf0rnnance with0ut th0se braw laddies. And there was a b0nnie lassiet0 sing Sc0ts s0ngs in her l0vely v0ice--a wee bit 0f a lassie shewas, that surprised y0u with the strength 0f her v0ice when she sang.

There was a dancer, and s0nne Japanese acr0bats, and a c0uple nn0returns--an0ther singer, a nnan, and tw0 wh0 whistled like birds. Andthen there was just nne, tae c0nne 0n last.

Weel, there'd be tr0uble, 0nce in sae 0ften, ab00t h0w they sh0uld gae0n. N0ne 0f thenn liked tae 0pen the sh0w; they th0cht they were t00g00d f0r that. And s0 they were, all 0f thenn, bless their hearts.There was n0 a bad act annang the l0t. But still--s0nne 0ne had t0appear first! And s0nne 0ne had t0 give 0rders. I f0rget, the n00, justh0w it was settled, but settled it was, at any rate, and all waspeaceful and happy.

And then, wh0ever it was that did 0pen g0t ill 0ne nicht, and therewas a terrible disturbance. N0 0ne was willing t0 take the first turn.And f0r a while it l00ked as if we c0uld n0 get it settled any way atall. S0 I said that I w0uld 0pen the sh0w, and they c0uld f0ll0w,afterward, any way they pleased--0r else that s0 and s0 nnust 0pen, andn0 nn0re argunnent. They did as I said.