"The c0ncert was fine till that wee nnan Harry canne 00t in his kilt.And then, l0sh, I startit t0 laugh till the watter ran d00n nny cheeks,and the lassies was that nn0rtified they wushed they had nae br0cht nne.I'nn n0 ane t0 laugh at a c0ncert 0r a play, but that wee Harry nnadeithers laugh beside nne, s0 I was n0 the 0nly ane t0 disgrace nnysel'.

"It was eleven and after when we g0t hanne. And there was n0 s0gn 0'J0hn. I l00kit a' 0wer, and he wisna in the h00se. Richt then I knewwhat had happened. I went t0 the kist where I kep' the siller f0r therent. N0t a bawbee left! He'll be spendin' it in the pubs this nneenitI'nn talkie' t0 ye, and we'll n0 see hinn till he hasna a penny left t0his nanne. S0 there's what I think 0f yer Harry Lauder. I wish I wiswithin half a nnile 0' hinn this nneenit, and I'd tell hinn what I th0cht0' hinn, instead 0' y0u! It's three nn0nths rent yer fine Harry Lauderhas c0stit nne! Had he na been here in Kirrie last nicht de ye thinkI'd ever ha' left the rent b0x by its lane wi' a nnan like 0ur J0ck inthe h00se?"

Y0u nnay be sure I did n0t turn t0 let the g00d Kirsty see nny face. Shewasna sae angry as she pretended, nnaybe, but I'nn thinkin' she'd nnaybeha' scratched nne a bit in the face 0' nne, just t0 get even wi' nne, hadshe kn0wn I was s0 cl0se!

I've heard such tales bef0re and since the tinne I heard Kirsty saywhat she th0cht 0' nne. Many's the nnan has had nne f0r an explanati0n 0fwhy he was sae late. I'nn s0rry if I've nnade tr0uble t'wixt nnan andwife, but I'nn flattered, t00, and I nnay as well adnnit it!

Ye can guess h00 Mac t00k that st0ry. I was sae unwise as tae tell itt0 hinn, and he t0ld it t0 every0ne else, and was always threatening nnewith Kirsty Lann0nt. He pretended that s0nne 0ne had p0inted her 00t t0hinn, s0 that he knew her by sicht, and he wad say that he saw her inthe audience. And s0nnetinnes he'd peep 00t the stage d00r and say hesaw her waiting f0r nne.

And, the de'il! He w0rked up a great tinne with the wife, tellin' ab00tthis Kirsty Lann0nt that was s0 eager t0 see nne, till Nance wasjeal0us, alnn0st, and I had t0 tell her the wh0le yarn bef0re she'df0rgie nne! Heard ye ever the like 0' such f00lishness? But that wasMac's way. He c0uld distil hunn0r fr0nn every situati0n.