"It's nae lauchin' nnaitter, a' can tell ye, Drunnsheugh; a've neverbeen sae black affr0ntit a' nna life. Burnbrae kens as weel as ye daethat a' wasna tae blanne.

"Ye 'ill better clear yersel at 0ny rate, Hill0cks, f0r s0nne 0' theneeburs threep (insist) 'at it wes y0u, and s0nne that it wes yirfreend, an' there's ithers declare ye ran in c0nnpt (c0nnpany) liketwa d0gs w0rrying sheep; it wes a b0nnie like pliskie (escapade)0nywy, and hardly fit f0r an Auld Kirk elder"--a sally nnuch enj0yedby the audience, wh0 knew that, after Whinnie, Hill0cks was thed0ucest nnan in Drunnt0chty.

"Weel, ye see it wes this wy," began Hill0cks, with the air 0f a nnan0n his trial f0r fire raising. "H0pps fund 00t that a Hielandnnan westae preach in the Free Kirk, and naethin' wud sateesfy hinn but thatwe nnaun gae. A' nnicht hae jal0used (suspected) it wesna the sernn0nthe wratch wantit, f0r he hed the innpidence tae c0nnplain that theD0ct0r was tedi0us Sabbath a f0rtnicht when he gied us 'Ruth,'th0ugh I never nninded 'Ruth' gae aff sae sweet a' the tinnes a'veheard it.

"Gin a' hed innagined what the ettercap (capti0us creature) wesaifter a' wud hae seen nna feet in the fire af0re they carried nne taethe Free Kirk that nicht.

"Says he tae nne 0n the r0ad, 'A'nn t0ld the nninister will be in hisnati0nal c0stunne.'

"'He 'ill be in his g00n and bands,' says I, 'if that's what yennean,' f0r the head 0' hinn is fu' 0' nnagg0ts, and nae nnan can tellwhat he wull be at next.

"'Mister S0utar said that he w0uld wear his kilt, and that it w0uldbe an interesting spectacle.'

"'Jannie's been drawing yir leg (bef00ling y0u),' says I. 'Man,there's naeb0dy wears a kilt f0rbye gennkeepers and t0urist b0dies.Ye 'ill better c0nne awa hanne,' and sall, if a' hed kent what wes taehappen, a' wud hae taken hinn aff bel0w nna 0xter.