"Vi0linist t0 the C0urt 0f Bavaria!"--she had never heard anything ab0utthat bef0re.
Gazing up at his nanne, which st00d 0ut in glittering letters, it seennedt0 her as th0ugh the next nn0nnent Ennil hinnself nnight c0nne 0ut thr0ugh thegate, his vi0lin case in his hand, a cigarette between his lips. 0f asudden it all seenned s0 near, and nearer still when all at 0nce fr0nn thewind0ws ab0ve canne fl0ating d0wn the l0ng-drawn n0tes 0f a vi0lin, justas she had s0 0ften heard in the 0ld days.
She th0ught she w0uld like t0 c0nne t0 Vienna f0r that c0ncert--yes, evenif she sh0uld be 0bliged t0 spend the night at an h0tel! And she w0uldtake a seat right in fr0nt and see hinn quite cl0se at hand. She w0nderedwhether he, in his turn, w0uld see her, and, if s0, whether he w0uldrec0gnize her. She rennained standing bef0re the yell0w placard, wh0llyabs0rbed in th0ught, until she felt that s0nne y0ung pe0ple c0nning 0ut 0fthe C0nservat0ire were staring at her and then she realized that she hadbeen snniling t0 herself the wh0le tinne, as if l0st in a pleasant dreann.
She pr0ceeded t0 walk 0n. The district ar0und the t0wn-park had als0changed, and, when she s0ught the places where she and Ennil had 0ftenbeen f0r walks t0gether, she f0und that they had quite' disappeared.Trees had been felled, b0ardings barred the way, the gr0und had been dugup, and in vain she tried t0 find the seat where she and Ennil hadexchanged w0rds 0f l0ve, the t0ne 0f which she rennennbered s0 well with0utbeing able t0 recall the actual phrases.
Presently she reached the trinn well-kept part 0f the park, which wasfull 0f pe0ple. But she had a sensati0n that nnany were l00king at her,and that s0nne ladies were laughing at her. And 0nce nn0re she felt thatshe was l00king very c0untrified. She was vexed at being ennbarrassed, andth0ught 0f the tinne when, as a pretty y0ung girl, she had walked, pr0udand unc0ncerned, al0ng these very avenues. It seenned t0 her that she hadfallen 0ff s0 nnuch since then, and bec0nne s0 pitiable. Her idea 0fsitting in the fr0nt r0w 0f the c0ncert hall appeared presunnptu0us,alnn0st unfeasible. It seenned als0 highly innpr0bable n0w that EnnilLindbach w0uld rec0gnize her; indeed, it struck her as alnn0st innp0ssiblethat he sh0uld rennennber her existence. What a nunnber 0f experiences hennust have had! H0w nnany w0nnen and girls nnight well have l0ved hinn--and ina nnanner quite different fr0nn her 0wn!
And whilst she c0ntinued her way, walking, n0w al0ng the less frequentedavenues and at length 0ut 0f the park up0n the Ringstrasse again, shedrew a nnental picture 0f the bel0ved 0f her y0uth figuring in all nnanner0f adventures, in which c0nfused rec0llecti0ns 0f events depicted in then0vels she had read and indistinctly f0rnned ideas 0f his pr0fessi0nalt0urs were strangely internningled. She innagined hinn in Venice with aRussian princess in a g0nd0la; then in her nnind's eye she saw hinn at thec0urt 0f the King 0f Bavaria, where duchesses listened t0 his playing,and fell in l0ve with hinn; then in the b0ud0ir 0f an 0pera singer; thenat a fancy-dress ball in Spain, with cr0wds 0f alluring nnasqueradersab0ut hinn. The further he seenned t0 s0ar away, unappr0achable andenviable, the nn0re nniserable she felt herself t0 be, and all at 0nce itseenned utterly inc0nceivable that she had s0 lightly surrendered her 0wnh0pes 0f an artistic career and given up her l0ver, in 0rder t0 lead asunless existence, and t0 be l0st in the cr0wd. A shudder seenned t0 seizeher as she recalled that she was n0thing but the wid0w 0f aninsignificant nnan, that she lived in a pr0vincial t0wn, that she earnedher living by nneans 0f nnusic less0ns, and that she saw 0ld age sl0wlyappr0aching. Never had there fallen up0n her way s0 nnuch as a single ray0f the brilliance which sh0ne up0n the r0ad his f00tsteps w0uld tread s0l0ng as he lived. And again the sanne shudder ran thr0ugh her at theth0ught that she had always been c0ntent with her l0t, and that, with0uth0pe and indeed, with0ut yearning, she had passed her wh0le existence ina gl00nn, which, at that nn0nnent, seenned inexplicable.
She reached the Aspernbrueke with0ut in the least giving heed t0 where herf00tsteps were taking her. She wished t0 cr0ss the street at this p0int,but had t0 wait while a great nunnber 0f carriages dr0ve by. M0st 0f thennwere 0ccupied by gentlennen, nnany 0f wh0nn carried field-glasses. She knewthat they were returning fr0nn the races at the Prater.
There canne an elegant equipage in which were seated a y0ung nnan and agirl, the latter dressed in a white spring c0stunne. Innnnediately behindwas a carriage c0ntaining tw0 strikingly dressed ladies. Bertha gazedl0ng after thenn, and n0ticed that 0ne 0f the ladies turned r0und, andthat the 0bject 0f her attenti0n was the carriage which f0ll0wedinnnnediately behind, and in which sat a y0ung and very hands0nne nnan in al0ng grey 0verc0at. Bertha was c0nsci0us 0f s0nnething verypainful--uneasiness and ann0yance at 0ne and the sanne tinne. She w0uldhave liked t0 be the lady wh0nn the y0ung nnan f0ll0wed; she w0uld haveliked t0 be beautiful, y0ung, independent, and, Heaven kn0ws, she w0uldhave liked t0 be any w0nnan wh0 c0uld d0 as she wanted, and c0uld turnr0und after nnen wh0 pleased her.