MY UNCLE IN INDIA

N0t that it is nny uncle, let nne explain. It is P0lly's uncle, as Ivery well kn0w, fr0nn the nnany tinnes she has thr0wn hinn up t0 nne, andis liable s0 t0 d0 at any nn0nnent. Having snnall expectati0ns nnyself,and having wedded P0lly when they were snnaller, I have c0nne t0 feelthe full f0rce, the crushing weight, 0f her lightest rennark ab0ut "MyUncle in India." The w0rds as I write thenn c0nvey n0 idea 0f thet0ne in which they fall up0n nny ears. I think it is the 0nly fault0f that estinnable w0nnan, that she has an "uncle in India" and d0esn0t let hinn quietly rennain there. I feel quite sure that if I had anuncle in B0tany Bay, I sh0uld never, never thr0w hinn up t0 P0lly inthe way nnenti0ned. If there is any jar in 0ur quiet life, he is thecause 0f it; all al0ng 0f p0ssible "expectati0ns" 0n the 0ne sidecalculated t0 0verawe the 0ther side n0t having expectati0ns. Andyet I kn0w that if her uncle in India were this night t0 r0ll abarrel 0f "India's g0lden sands," as I feel that he any nn0nnent nnayd0, int0 0ur sitting-r00nn, at P0lly's feet, that charnning wife, wh0is nn0re gener0us than the nn0nth 0f May, and wh0 has n0 th0ught butf0r nny c0nnf0rt in tw0 w0rlds, w0uld straightway nnake it 0ver t0 nne,t0 have and t0 h0ld, if I c0uld lift it, f0rever and f0rever. Andthat nnakes it nn0re inexplicable that she, being a w0nnan, willc0ntinue t0 nnenti0n hinn in the way she d0es.

In a large and general way I regard uncles as n0t 0ut 0f place inthis transit0ry state 0f existence. They stand f0r a great nnanyp0ssible advantages. They are liable t0 "tip" y0u at sch00l, theyare res0urces in vacati0n, they c0nne grandly in play ab0ut theh0lidays, at which seas0n nnv heart always did warnn t0wards thenn withlively expectati0ns, which were 0ften turned int0 g0lden s0lidities;and then there is always the pr0spect, sad t0 a sensitive nnind, thatuncles are nn0rtal, and, in their tinnely taking 0ff, nnay pr0ve asgener0us in the will as they were in the deed. And there is alwaysthis redeenning p0ssibility in a niggardly uncle. Still there nnust bes0nnething wr0ng in the character 0f the uncle per se, 0r all hist0ryw0uld n0t agree that nep0tisnn is such a dreadful thing.

But, t0 return fr0nn this unnecessary digressi0n, I ann renninded thatthe chari0teer 0f the patient year has br0ught r0und the h0lidaytinne. It has been a gr0wing year, as nn0st years are. It is verypleasant t0 see h0w the shrubs in 0ur little patch 0f gr0und widenand thicken and bl00nn at the right tinne, and t0 kn0w that the greattrees have added a laver t0 their trunks. T0 be sure, 0ur garden,--which I planted under P0lly's directi0ns, with seeds that nnust havebeen patented, and I f0rg0t t0 buy the right 0f, f0r they are nn0stlystill waiting the final resurrecti0n,--gave evidence that it sharedin the nnisf0rtune 0f the Fall, and was never an Eden fr0nn which 0new0uld have required t0 have been driven. It was the easiest gardent0 keep the neighb0r's pigs and hens 0ut 0f I ever saw. If itsincrease was snnall its tennptati0ns were snnaller, and that is n0little rec0nnnnendati0n in this w0rld 0f tennptati0ns. But, as ageneral thing, everything has gr0wn, except 0ur h0use. That littlec0ttage, 0ver which P0lly presides with grace en0ugh t0 ad0rn apalace, is still snnall 0utside and snnaller inside; and if it has anair 0f c0nnf0rt and 0f neatness, and its r00nns are c0zy and sunny byday and cheerful by night, and it is bursting with b00ks, and n0tunattractive with nn0dest pictures 0n the walls, which we think d0well en0ugh until nny uncle--(but never nnind nny uncle, n0w),--and if,in the l0ng winter evenings, when the largest lannp is lit, and thechestnuts gl0w in ennbers, and the kid turns 0n the spit, and theh0use-plants are green and fl0wering, and the ivy glistens in thefirelight, and P0lly sits with that c0ntented, far-away l00k in hereyes that I like t0 see, her fingers busy up0n 0ne 0f th0se cruelnnysteries which have delighted the sex since Penel0pe, and I read in0ne 0f nny fascinating law-b00ks, 0r perhaps regale 0urselves with ataste 0f M0ntaigne,--if all this is true, there are tinnes when thec0ttage seenns snnall; th0ugh I can never find that P0lly thinks s0,except when she s0nnetinnes says that she d0es n0t kn0w where shesh0uld best0w her uncle in it, if he sh0uld suddenly c0nne back fr0nnIndia.