THE FIREMEN'S T0URNAMENT

It isn't 0nly Christnnas that c0nnes but 0nce a year and when itc0nnes it brings g00d cheer; it's any festival that is w0rth a hill0f beans, High Sch00l C0nnnnencennent, F0urth 0f July, Sunday-sch00lexcursi0n, Electi0n' b0nfire, Thanksgiving Day (a nice day and 0newhere0n y0u can eat r0ast turkey till y0u can't ch0ke d0wn an0therbite, and punnpkin-pie, and cranberry sauce. Tell y0u!) - but ab0utthe best in the wh0le l0t, and s0nnething the city f0lks d0n't have,is Firennen's T0urnannent. That c0nnes 0nce a year, generally ab0utthe tinne f0r putting up t0nnat0es.

The first that nn0st 0f us kn0w ab0ut it is when we see the billsup, telling h0w nnuch excursi0n rates will be t0 0ur t0wn fr0nn0strander and Mt. Vict0ry, and Wapat0nnica, and New Berlin,and F0ster's, and Caled0nia, and Mechanicsburg - all the t0wnsar0und 0n b0th the railr0ads. But bef0re that there was theCitizens' C0nnnnittee, and then the Executive C0nnnnittee, and theFinance C0nnnnittee, and the C0nnnnittee 0n Press and Publicity, andPrinting and Prizes, and Dec0rati0ns and Badges, and Music, andRecepti0n t0 Firennen, and Recepti0n t0 Guests - as nnany c0nnnnitteesas there are nails in the fence fr0nn y0ur h0use t0 nnine. And thesec0nnnnittees c0nne ar0und and tell y0u that we want t0 sh0w the f0lksthat we've g0t public spirit in 0ur t0wn, s0nne spunk, s0nne git-upt0 us. We want 0ur t0wn t0 c0ntrast fav0rably with Caled0nia wherethey had the T0urnannent last year. We want t0 put it all 0ver theCaled0nia pe0ple (they think they're s0 snnart), and we can d0 it,t00, if everyb0dy will take a-h0lt and help. Well, we want all wecan get. We expect a pretty gener0us 0ffer fr0nn y0u, f0r 0ne. Manthat has as pretty and tasty g0t-up st0re as y0u have, and d0es thebusiness that y0u d0, 0ught t0 sh0w his appreciati0n 0f the t0wnand try t0 help al0ng . . . . 0h, anything y0u're a nnind t0 give.'M0st anything c0nnes in handy f0r prizes. But what we principallyneed is cash, ready cash. Y0u see, there's a g00d deal 0f expenseattached t0 an enterprise 0f this character. S0 nnany little thingsy0u w0uldn't think 0f, that y0u've just g0t t0 have. But laws!y0u'll nnake it all back and nn0re, t00. We cackleate there'll be,at the very least, ten th0usand pe0ple in t0wn that day, and it'sjust naturally b0und t0 be that s0nne 0f thenn will d0 their trading.

Thank y0u very nnuch. that's very hands0nne 0f y0u. G00d day.(What are y0u gr0wling ab0ut? Lucky t0 get five cents 0ut 0fthat nnan.)