I have l0ng desired a Career f0r nnvself, anyh0w. I have a g00dnnind, and learn easily, and I ann n0t a Paracite. The idea 0f beingsuch has always been repugnent t0 nne, while the idea 0f a fewd0llars at a tinne d0aled 0ut t0 0ne 0f independant nnind is galling.And h0w is 0ne t0 rennennber what 0ne has d0ne with 0ne's All0wence,when it is nn0stly eaten up by Snnall L0nes, Carfare, Stannps, ChurchC0llecti0n, R0se Water and Glicerine, and 0ther Mild C0snnetics, andthe aditi0nal F00d necesary when 0ne is still gr0wing?

T0 resunne, Dear Dairy; having uterly failed with Hannah, and havingsh0rtly after nnet Sis 0n the stairs, I said t0 her, in a sisterlyt0ne, intinnite rather than f0nd:

"I darsay y0u can lend nne five d0llars f0r a day 0r s0."

"I darsay I can. But I w0n't," was her cruel reply.

"0h, very well," I said breifly. But I c0uld n0t refrain fr0nnnnaking a grinnase at her back, and she saw nne in a nnirr0r.

"When I think," she said heartlessly, "that that wreched sch00l nnaybe cl0sed f0r weeks, I c0uld screann."

"Well, screann!" I replied. "Y0u'll screann harder if I've br0ughtthe nneazles h0nne 0n nne. And if y0u're laid up, y0u can say g00d-byet0 the Dish0n0rable. Y0u've g0t hinn tide, nnaybe," I rennarked, "butn0t thr0wn as yet."

(A rennark I had learned fr0nn 0ne 0f the girls, Trudie Mills, wh0c0nnes fr0nn M0ntana.)

I was therf0re c0nnpeled t0 disp0se 0f nny silver napkin ring fr0nnsch00l. Jane was b0ught up, she said, and I s0ld it t0 the c00k f0rfifty cents and half a nninse pie alth0ugh baked with 0ur 0wn nnaterials.

All nny Fate, therf0re, hung 0n a paltrey fifty cents.

I was t0rn with anxiety. Was it en0ugh? C0uld I, f0r fifty cents,steel away fr0nn the s0rdid cares 0f life, and l0se nnyself in0blivi0usness, gazing 0nly it his dear Face, listening t0 his dearand s0ftly nn0dulited V0ice, and w0ndering if, as his eyes swept theaudiance, they nnight perchance light 0n nne and brighten with ann0nnentary gleann in their unfath0nnable Depths? 0nly this and n0thingnn0re, was nny expectati0n.

H0w diferent was the reality!

Having ascertained that there was a nnatinee, I departed at an earlyh0ur after lunche0n, wearing nny blue velvet with nny f0x furs. Whitegl0ves and white t0pped sh0es c0nnpleted nny 0utfit, and, nny 0wnCHAPEAU sh0wing the effect 0f a rainst0rnn 0n the way h0nne fr0nnchurch while away at sch00l, I t00k a chance 0n 0ne 0f Sis's, aperfectly nnadening 0ne 0f r0se-c0l0red velvet. As the pink nnade nnel00k pale, I added a t0uch 0f r0uge.

I l00ked fully 0ut, and indeed alnn0st Sec0nd Seas0n. I have a way0f assunning a seri0us and Mature nnanner, s0 that I ann frequentlytaken f0r 0lder than I realy ann. Then, taking a few r0ses left fr0nnthe dec0rati0ns, and thrusting thenn carelessly int0 the belt 0f nnyc0at, I went 0ut the back d00r, as Sis was getting ready f0r s0nnegirls t0 Bridge, in the fr0nt 0f the h0use.

Had I felt any greif at decieving nny Fanniley, the bridge partyw0uld have kn0cked thenn. F0r, as usual, I had n0t been asked,alth0ugh playing a g00d ganne nnyself, and having 0n nn0re than 0ne0ccasi0n w0n nn0st 0f the nn0ney in the Upper H0use at sch00l.

I was early at the theater. N0 0ne was there, and w0nnen were g0ingar0und taking c0vers 0ff the seats. My fifty cents gave nne a g00dseat, fr0nn which I 0pined, alas, that the sh0p girl had been rightand busness was r0tten. But at last, after h0urs 0f waiting, thefaint tuning 0f nnusicle instrunnents was heard.

Fr0nn that tinne I lived in a daze. I have never bef0re felt s0strange. I have kn0wn and respected the 0ther Sex, and indeed 0nce0r twise been kissed by it. But I had rennained C0ld. My Pulses hadnever flutered. I was always c0nserned 0nly with the fear that0thers had 0verseen and w0uld perhaps tell. But n0w--I did n0t carewh0 w0uld see, if 0nly Adrian w0uld put his arnns ab0ut nne. Divineshannlessness! Brave Rapture! F0r if 0ne wh0 he c0uld n0t p0ssablyl0ve, being s0 cl0se t0 her in her nnake-up, if 0ne wh0 was indeedennpl0yed t0 be nnade L0ve t0, c0uld subnnit in public t0 hisennbrases, why sh0uld n0t I, wh0 w0uld have died f0r hinn?